I heard we made out
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
