does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
