omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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