My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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