I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
