Slut skills are useful in every country.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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