I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
