I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
