do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just google imaged poop.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Naked Twister starts at high noon
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize