Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
