As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
