And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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