dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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