Where is the hickey?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
