we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
