He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
