he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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