We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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