I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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