Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
