So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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