So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
