Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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