Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
