We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
