we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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