My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
