he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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