PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
