I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize