They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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