Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize