At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
