Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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