i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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