everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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