Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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