craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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