pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
