NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
