People with herpes should wear stickers.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
