After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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