just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
