He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
