just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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