Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
