I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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