I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
