sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
