Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
