i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
