just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
