oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
