i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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