After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
