Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize