but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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